Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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