it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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