Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize