Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
