...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
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so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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