I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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