sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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