I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
