OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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