You can't motorboat a personality
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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