I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
