Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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