You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize