Three words: puerto rican gang bang
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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