I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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