Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
