It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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