I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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