Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
