if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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