I'm jealous of your bromance
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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