All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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