I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
