i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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