whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
