come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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