Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
