Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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