just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
