HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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