we're blogging at a bar
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
