super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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