Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize