No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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