Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
