If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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