some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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