I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
