i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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