I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
