Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
