im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
