Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm passing your future prison.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
