the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
