You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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