i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
