What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Be still, my beating vagina.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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