It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
