just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
