The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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