I wannas sexs uuuuu
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
