I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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