What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you made out with another girl for some wings
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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