i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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