She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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