So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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