if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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