Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
